Not so good the last several days…after i was sent home from the hospital I have been removed from most all of my meds (maybe not such a bad idea…but) I am currently experiencing what is referred to as Mixed affective episode or a Mixed state (psychiatry)
In the context of bipolar disorder, a mixed state is a condition during which symptoms of mania and clinical depression occur simultaneously. Typical examples include tearfulness during a manic episode or racing thoughts during a depressive episode. Individuals may also feel incredibly frustrated in this state, since one may feel like a failure and at the same time have a flight of ideas. Mixed states are often the most dangerous period of mood disorders, during which substance abuse, panic disorder, suicide attempts, and other complications increase greatly. (thanks for some of that info, Wikipedia.) So…I’m reclusive, and unable to concentrate on anything. The phone is off…as will facebook, soon…my anger is uncontrollable and my meds are just fucking me up further. That is what meds I have…since I go to a free clinic, I run out (cold turkey =extreme danger) all of the time. The car and the hose are looking pretty good to me today…only holdback, Wanda. I would never do anything to cause her pain. SO…my phone is off, I’m unlogging from facebook for a while.
Laugh while you can, Motherfuckers…life is a pile of monkey feces…take a bite, it tastes like your soul.