Actually, I have three phones. Cell phones. Smart phones. One I gave to my mother. It’s a Blackberry and she can’t figure out how to make a call, so I fixed it to only call me. The second is a whatever…I can’t be bothered remembering phone names…I call it the little phone. Because, well, it’s little. The last is a Droid. You have to say that in the weird voice they use in the ads or it doesn’t work. I found that out. ‘Cuz my first one broke. I wasn’t using the voice…and it died.
Actually, that was over two months ago. I sent for a new one and got it overnight. but I haven’t been to the Verizon store to get it programed yet. At first that was because I had the plague. Then it was because I was fucking spinning around busy catching up on all of the shit I missed while I was at home blowing my nose. And then it was because I just kinda forgot about it. I didn’t care anymore. I fell outta love.
Actually, I don’t think I was ever really IN love with it. LSS (long story short) – the nephew bought it originally, I helped by putting it on my plan. And then I inherited it, and the lovely payments, when the nephew went to stay under the managed care of the county. So I was never really emotionally attached to the phone. It was never the choice a middle-aged geeky woman woulda chosen. It is more the type a 22 year old boy who is sexting more than his aunt wants to think about kinda phone. Ya know?
All of this recent phone crap has led me to the conclusion that I’m kinda over them all. Although I know I’ll end up with a WHITE 4g iPhone in my pocket and I have no idea what will happen to this nephew-Droid-phone.
In my most perfect world I would NOT have a phone. At. All. I would be fine with that. And yes, I do know I have the ability to make that choice right now…but, but…in whinny voice…I can’t.
Right now…I turn off my phone when I’m at home. I have Google Voice so I know when I get a call…and I never have to hear it ring. I can call whoever when I am in the right ‘space’ to do so. This actually saves people from having to pay for shit that they shouldn’t have to pay for…
Like if you called and I had just had to deal with maneuvering through my mother’s sock drawer looking for that specific pair while she directs me from the bed…and I KNOW that pair was thrown out last week…if you call right after THAT…you might just get a piece of me you don’t deserve. So it’s better I wait and call you later.
You get it?
Now hold your nose and say…Droid.
