It’s Don’t Be A DB Saturday…You Are On Twitter, Right?

Well, it’s actually Sunday…whatever…

Yeow…where to begin? Well, Twitter is super easy to take part in…but there is a big ol’ lump of a curve to get around before you see any useful feedback. And that’s what kills most who try to use it…they don’t have the patience to make it through to the other side.

I AM NOT going to write some big long thesis on how to Tweet…I’m going to make this short and sweet. Think of this as a kick-start. To the head. Plus there are a zillion posts like this out there…although I’m sure none as pithy.

These are the six areas I’m going to fly through:

Joining
Building a Profile
Following
Making Contact
Twitter Language
Lists

First, a perspective: Twitter is like the world’s biggest chat room. Lots of folks, all talking at once. Your job, should you choose to take it, is to filter all of that crap…to make it useful for YOU. Twitter is a bit masturbatory with a sprinkling of voyeurism.

So. Join. Pick a handle that is around 10 characters long. Make it personal, NOT your business name. As close to your real name as possible. Add Profile photo…use your FACE not a logo. Smile dammit. Only the sixteen year olds are allowed to look pensive. (DO NOT start arguing with me that you are only on Twitter to advertise ((evil word)) your business so you want to emphasize your biz name. Bullshit. You are here to Network/Socialize…if you think otherwise leave NOW…You have failed miserably. No biscuit for you.)

Profile. Trick out a sweet background for yourself…make it personal…YES, you may use your biz logo (!), give info…look around…see what others are doing. Make it represent who and what you are. Bio. Short and sweet…and original. Try to be clever. I know it hurts. But do it. Web Site. Yes, you may put your direct to biz link here. But if it’s to a freakin’ sales pitch site, I’m going to come over to your house and punch you in the face. And so will everyone else in the Twitter universe…count on it.

Making Friends/Following. Find someone you know and like (important detail) and follow ALL of their friends. Or most, anyway. Go to Twellow and register. Do a search for your interest or location or whatever. ADD ALL of those people. Go to TweetML, register and search for a list you like the looks of…ADD ALL of those people. There…that’s a great start. If I look at your profile and I see that you aren’t following anyone, you know what I’m going to do? NOT follow you. Because you are basically telling me that you don’t care what I have to say…you just want me to listen to you. Boring.

Contact. Now shut up and start listening. Toss out a little personal info…’Hi, this is my first tweet~!’…’Holy cow, Tweeting is cool~!’…do not, under penalty of law, start out of the gate throwing links to your restaurant/boutique/gynocologist…try to be a person, okay? And no food posts. That will get you the huge ‘A’ stamped on your forehead. A=amateur. When you see something go by that strikes you…respond. This is where Twitter language comes in. We’ll get to that in a minute. Let’s stick with how to contact for now. So you respond. Give an opinion. Give thanks. Share. Remember you’re new to the party…so try not to be the big loud drunk who walks in and starts vomiting personal information. Not pretty.

Twitter Language. There are protocols to responding and sharing on Twitter. This could be a whole blog post in itself…I don’t have time for that. Soooo – do me a favor, Google ‘How to ReTweet’ and read this: 4 Way To Deliver Value to Your Tweets . And if your little eyes begin spinning in your head…just ask me, I’ll help. Just don’t be a DB, okay?

Lists. I love lists. Seriously. Love them. But for now…until you build a larger following/follower base…don’t worry about it. Just gaze on them from afar…knowing that one day you’re totally going to hit that.

There are other things…many other things I could talk to you about. But I think this is a good start.

Here are some great tips from Twitter pros:

Wired Magazine
“If you want more people to follow you on Twitter, give your real name on your account profile. Not everyone knows you by your username.”
- Scott Beale

“Every single Twitter post you write should be able to get you laid, ruin a relationship, or bring a tear to a blind man’s eye. “
- Joshua Allen

“Don’t answer, ‘What are you doing?’ Be funny. Be brief, leave your lunch unpublished. Ditto your late plane, incomplete sentences.”
- Jason Kottke

“Twitter is a community. It’s not all about you. Engage your peers by asking them questions. You don’t have to actually read the answers.”
- Micki Krimmel

“Frequently linking to yourself from Twitter is a terrific way to highlight your skills as an unlovable marketing knob. Go easy on the spam.”
- Merlin Mann

“Don’t try to impress-just be yourself. But go a little beyond your comfort zone; share something you’re hesitant about sharing.”
- Evan Williams

OH and if you want a reference: I won the Mashable (you better know who they are~!) Twitter Tips contest last year. Yeah, I rock.

You can find me on Twitter here: @EurekaJanet